Cuts

Our cat, like most animals, has a timer on her stomach, not set to any particular time, rather to a particular state of darkness. For the last few months, my wife wakes at 5:30 AM for her job, and after doing her bathroom duties, feeds our cat.

The little monster gets used to her food being at her dish at a certain state of darkness. I came to that conclusion because the earlier the sun rises, the earlier her timer goes off. Lately she has taken to rattling our bedroom door and yowling.

Now, I consider myself a light sleeper. I can get used to most any noise, but I can’t sleep through non-repetitive sounds (i.e. people talking, motorcycles revving, or cat’s yowling). Back when we first aquired our cat, she used to yowl to be let in to cuddle with us. A spray bottle in the face cured her of that habit.

However, I don’t want to spray her any more. Twice in the last couple weeks I’ve set the alarm clock incorrectly and the only thing that kept me from missing work was her hungry meows. So, the noise serves some purpose.

Another thing she used to do was bat her paws under the door. Our door doesn’t close all the way, so this makes it rattle. Hence, another noise to wake me up.

Last night, the door started rattling. I tried to ignore it, figuring that the cat would get tired and go sleep on the air conditioner in the living room. But the rattle went on. Finally I ascended through the various levels of waking until I couldn’t ignore it any more. I stumbled in the dark, opened the door, and hissed. The cat wasn’t there. It truly was the wind.

Having an open window with a closed door creates unequal pressure–hence the rattling door. Well, while I was up, I hit the bathroom, then almost made it back to bed before the door started rattling again. I could have left it open, but then the beast enters and tramps her little paws all over our sleeping organs.

I’ve done this before, so I thought I would do it again: I would put something against the door so it wouldn’t rattle, but I didn’t want anything too massive so that my wife wouldn’t be surprised when she woke up. I thought I would just grab some clothes off the floor to hold the door in place.

Maybe I should have turned on the light, but I didn’t want to wake up my wife. Bam! I nailed the corner of the dresser with my face. The wound occurred directly under my left eye, breaking the skin, but also bruising the bone.

I still think it’s amazing that whenever my head gets hit hard, I saw a bright flash of orange. After everything went dark again, I curled up on the ground and moaned, “Ow. Ow. Ow.” My wife finally woke up and asked what was wrong. I said that I hurt myself. She asked what did you do? So I said, I hurt myself.

I wasn’t really thinking right.

I grabbed an ice pack and went back to bed. This time, I just kept the door open. The cat didn’t even notice.