Mr. Smith Goes to Billings

My wife and I just went to Billings to visit my family, in particular my brother who was also in town. It was the first time in a couple of years that the whole famn damily was gathered in one place and it went off fairly smooth imho.

Though I won’t get much into detail about the trip, especially family specifics since I don’t like to publish all my secrets for free, I did want to share some random thoughts about the trip.

#1) Billings is getting spruced up. I remember growing up on Russell Street two blocks off of Broadwater Ave. The streets surrounding our house were decrepit at best. Pot holes plagued the streets, but that never seemed to stop my brother from driving full bore at angles to miss the worst of the damage.

The streets seem to be a lot better in the city. Maybe I came at the right time of the year, but it suddenly struck me how pleasant it is to drive in Billings (especially when you know how to get around). People’s yards look nice. Almost too nice. I wonder how many Billingites are actually concerned about the possible ecological damage that those lush lawns pose. In Western Montana, we’re looking at an aquifer that might be drained within my lifetime. Though, it is nice to have some shade in that blistering sun. Coming back to Missoula was a shock. Partly because it was rainy, and partly because we barely noticed it was rainy.

#2) Billings is still growing at a clip. Yet, it is still affordable. Sort of. Sure, it has the half a million and million dollar houses, but my cousins managed to buy a house for less than a hundo-thousand! That category does not exist in Missoula. It doesn’t matter what part of town you live in, how bad the house is. Nothing. Those houses do not exist over here.

#3) Eastern Montana thunderstorms are still cool. Our last full day in Billings ended with a barbeque. Rain threatened the entire day. I would go stand outside to watch the impending clouds, seeing and smelling the rain, knowing that it was on its way. In Missoula, if you can see the storm, you’re about to get wet. With valley living comes the inevitable fact that the weather has no place to go except for the valley. In Billings, though, the storm seemed to split up. Half of the storm went north while the other half went south. We were spared and the barby was a success!

#4) Our “new” car (an 89 Camry) gets great mileage. On the way down we got an average of 33.5 mpg even with some random in town driving whenever we felt like stopping. We got this in part because we actually drove 75 mph instead of my usual 80. Plus we weren’t blasting heat (like during our last trip in the winter) or AC. What a difference that 5 mph made! I tried going a little bit slower when possible, but 334 miles is a long drive to take real slow. Trust me. I know. And not because I remember when the speed limit was 55 on the highway (which I do, though I was too young to drive it), but because I had a van that could only go 55. Eight hours is far too long of a drive between Missoula and Billings.

The thing was, even at 75 we were passing people. It used to be that I went 80 to 85 and lots of people passed me. I saw truckers pass more cars then I’d ever seen before. It made me think that perhaps other people are trying the same tactic: driving slow to save fuel and money.

I read in USA Today that people are actually on average driving less than they were. I’d believe that. We already drive less and only keep a car because it is a bit cheaper than taking taxis or buses to all of our hard to reach places (my band practices outside of Missoula).

I’m still working on ending, so I’ll just abruptly say this: Johnny Cash, 50 Cent, Ludicris, Britney Spear’s bald head.

A Little Weird

My blogs hits just jumped the past couple o’ days, due to the fact that in one of my posts I mentioned a certain “J o h n n y C a s h”. Seems people are desperate for any kind of information on the old man, even if it comes from my pointless diatribes.

My advice to any would-be bloggers who want to boost their readership, is just to sprinkle celebrity names within their blogs.

Me? I’m flipping a coin to see if I should go back and remove the name. Don’t care to have all these Cash seekers on my posts.

Hrumph!

Cuts

Our cat, like most animals, has a timer on her stomach, not set to any particular time, rather to a particular state of darkness. For the last few months, my wife wakes at 5:30 AM for her job, and after doing her bathroom duties, feeds our cat.

The little monster gets used to her food being at her dish at a certain state of darkness. I came to that conclusion because the earlier the sun rises, the earlier her timer goes off. Lately she has taken to rattling our bedroom door and yowling.

Now, I consider myself a light sleeper. I can get used to most any noise, but I can’t sleep through non-repetitive sounds (i.e. people talking, motorcycles revving, or cat’s yowling). Back when we first aquired our cat, she used to yowl to be let in to cuddle with us. A spray bottle in the face cured her of that habit.

However, I don’t want to spray her any more. Twice in the last couple weeks I’ve set the alarm clock incorrectly and the only thing that kept me from missing work was her hungry meows. So, the noise serves some purpose.

Another thing she used to do was bat her paws under the door. Our door doesn’t close all the way, so this makes it rattle. Hence, another noise to wake me up.

Last night, the door started rattling. I tried to ignore it, figuring that the cat would get tired and go sleep on the air conditioner in the living room. But the rattle went on. Finally I ascended through the various levels of waking until I couldn’t ignore it any more. I stumbled in the dark, opened the door, and hissed. The cat wasn’t there. It truly was the wind.

Having an open window with a closed door creates unequal pressure–hence the rattling door. Well, while I was up, I hit the bathroom, then almost made it back to bed before the door started rattling again. I could have left it open, but then the beast enters and tramps her little paws all over our sleeping organs.

I’ve done this before, so I thought I would do it again: I would put something against the door so it wouldn’t rattle, but I didn’t want anything too massive so that my wife wouldn’t be surprised when she woke up. I thought I would just grab some clothes off the floor to hold the door in place.

Maybe I should have turned on the light, but I didn’t want to wake up my wife. Bam! I nailed the corner of the dresser with my face. The wound occurred directly under my left eye, breaking the skin, but also bruising the bone.

I still think it’s amazing that whenever my head gets hit hard, I saw a bright flash of orange. After everything went dark again, I curled up on the ground and moaned, “Ow. Ow. Ow.” My wife finally woke up and asked what was wrong. I said that I hurt myself. She asked what did you do? So I said, I hurt myself.

I wasn’t really thinking right.

I grabbed an ice pack and went back to bed. This time, I just kept the door open. The cat didn’t even notice.